New Year, New Me

      New Year is considered to be the most important and wonderful holiday for everyone, since that is the time for people to leave their haplessness in the back and get their fortune for the New Year. Every country celebrates the new year at a different time of the year. Sometimes based on their own calendar, festivals, astronomic timings, historic event, significant personality etc. On this day, many people remember last year’s achievements and failures and look forward to the promise of a new year, of a new beginning.

      I solemnly swear that I was at the level of myself where when I would look at a mirror, and see the deeper truth upon myself, questions would always form in my mind. Endless why's and how's run through my curiosity. Why do I see myself as a failure? Why do I see everyone else better than me? Why do I always think that I'm born with nothing? Back then, I suffered anxiety, when weekdays come, that means school. And school means a lot of recitations and speeches in front. I always had a feeling of being anxious and I always feel nervous whenever a teacher asks every one of us to speak in front. I was worried because I might fail, I was nervous because I might get judged. But when time has passed, I learned to love myself. I learned to be better. Every new year, I always make a list of my resolutions, not only on material things that I want to get, but mostly for myself, for my own good. One of it is to stop being anxious all the time, I learned from myself that it's okay to commit mistakes, because mistakes is where you learn from things. And it worked, it helped me so much to improve myself. It lifted up my hope and my confidence with the help of prayer and myself.

      I admit that I still have many things from myself to improve. But one thing I can say is, if you really want to be the best version of yourself, learn to be patient, help yourself, and trust God's timing.